 |
| Charcoal
is okay...for a rookie or chick. The King
burns wood. |
Any man who eats bbq eats like a king.
Growing up in Texas, I naturally assumed that cooking slabs of meat slowly
over a wood fire was uniquely Texan. Now I know it's not even
uniquely American, much less a native to Texas. Still, we do it
best in Texas. Take a bbq tour from Dallas to Houston to San Antonio
to Austin through
Elgin,
Luling, Lockhart,
Llano, Stevenville,
Taylor and any bbq connoisseur in America would at some point aver
they've sampled the
best meat they've ever had. I've stopped in a few places in
Missouri and the Carolinas and sampled the local flavor. Arthur
Bryant's isn't bad, but it sure as heck ain't Texas bbq. If I were stuck thousands of
miles from real Texas bbq I'd let loose with a Howard Dean scream of my
own. Good thing the King is an authentic Texan well versed in the fine art
of Texas bbq.
If Texas bbq isn't the best, then
why are there so many imitators out there claiming
to be "Authentic Texas Bar-B-Que". You can't blame
them for wanting to recreate the flavor we've perfected here in the Lone
Star State. Hell, we Texans are generous people; we don't mind if
you cash in on our world-renowned bbq goodwill. Just don't sully our
reputation by serving an inferior product. Everyone has a bbq mishap along the way. Slathering flavorless pork in Kraft Barbecue Sauce and
passing
it off as Texas Barbeque is disastrous and slanderous. Good bbq doesn't even need
sauce; in fact, you might insult the cook by asking for it. What makes authentic Texas
bbq? An authentic
Texan. Lots of folks think brisket when they think Texas bbq. Maybe.
Southeast Texas is famous for pork ribs. Cooper's specialty is a 2"
thick bone-in pork loin chop. Kruez's signature is beef shoulder clod
cooked at 500º. Cabrito in South Texas. Home made sausage in Elgin.
|
|
| Nice
butt! |
Then there's Greenberg turkeys
from Tyler - legendary among those who know their smoked
meat. We do like our brisket, but it's not the only
critter in the cooker. More often than not it's a couple of pork butts over oak or pecan in
my pit. Texas bbq means burning real wood - lots of
wood. I've burned a quarter cord of wood to cook two briskets when
the size of the pit dictated a feeder fire to keep the temperature
low. Plus you get the added karma of standing around an open fire. Once
again, different flavors in different parts of the state. Oak, pecan, and
hickory are all popular in East and Central Texas. Mesquite reigns supreme
(and grows like a weed) in the South Texas Brush country and out west of the
Pecos.
There are as many different kinds of bbq pits in Texas as there are
registered Democrats - hundreds if not thousands. Open brick pits,
enclosed brick pits, steel pits made from oil field pipe, even 55 gallon drums
cut in half known as Texas hibachis. If
it will hold a fire and support a grill full of meat, chances are some Texan has
used it to cook bbq. In college it was, "Dude, that would make a cool bong". Now it's, "Dude, put a firebox down there, slap in
reverse flow baffles and that would be an awesome cooker!" The toys
are more expensive, but I still reek of smoke every weekend until I stuff myself
and collapse in a grinning, greasy heap.
So don't be fooled by the stuffed armadillo with sunglasses on the wall and
the ancho chile bbq sauce. If you want real Texas bbq you've got to find a
Texan.
 |
| Even
a Texas bird dog knows Texas BBQ is the best. |
The Texas BBQ King grew up and lives in Dallas, TX. The
Queen Mother is
from Wimberley, TX.
Grannie was born in Wimberley, too; grandfather was from Seguin.
BBQ is practically a weekly occurrence in my backyard; bbq consumes most of my waking
thoughts away from the office. It borders on obsession. That's what
makes Texas BBQ the best in the world. It's a lot easier to grill up a
bunch of burgers and brats. Cooking a sorry hunk of meat like brisket or
pork ribs takes patience and timing. The reward is a beautiful, tender, moist, and
flavorful slice of meat you'd be honored to serve to a king and even happier to
scarf down
yourself.
Everyone who enjoys bbq owes it to themselves to take an extended bbq
vacation in the great state of Texas. You will find it takes a place as
big as Texas to showcase the incredible diversity of bbq styles and tastes as
you drive along Texas' 79,535
miles of highways. come during dove season and make it a
two-for. Texas has the best dove hunting, the best quail hunting, and best
deer hunting in the United States. World class fishing on the Gulf Coast
for speckled trout and red drum, world class fishing for largemouth bass at Lake
Fork. As if you need an excuse other than the chance to sample Texas bbq
and Texas hospitality. As an added bonus Texas has the best Mexican food
in the US to boot. You'll think it'd take a whole country to hold
everything Texas has to offer. And you'd be right. Texas was it's
own country. But we're such generous people we decided to share with the
rest of America and graciously accept the invitation to become a part of the
United States.
|
|
| Mecca
for Texas bbq lovers - Kreuz Market in Lockhart. |
As good as it tastes,
the best thing about bbq is sharing it with your friends
and family. I always end up cooking too much, so
there's always plenty. And there's never a
shortage of people who are willing to help eat up.
Seeing a mess of folks wolfing down the fruits of my
labor is always a pleasure.
Besides, is there a
better way to spend a few hours of your time than
standing around a bbq pit tending the fire with your
mouth watering in anticipation of the succulent feast
awaiting at the end of the day? Good friends, good
food and a good times courtesy of the Texas BBQ
King. Not just another meal, but a way of looking
at life - just because most people pay a pro to do it
doesn't mean you can't do it better yourself...don't be
afraid to experiment...and the best things in life are
worth waiting for. Give a man bbq and he eats for
a day, learn to bbq and you'll become addicted to the
intoxicating aroma of hard wood smoke.
|
So
I bought a 300 gallon propane tank and will soon be building a
reverse-flow offset smoker. Step one is to pick it
up. Hope the old Ford makes it! 
